I’ve decided to invent a new kind of afterlife. I just don’t like the options we have presently.

Some place in the clouds with harps and robes and Christians definitely ain’t where it’s at. (no offense to the lovely Christians in my life, but I dig a little variety.) I mean, what do you even do all day? Harp is a really hard instrument to learn.

I used to sort of like the “What Dreams May Come” version – where you end up in some place that makes you happy and you can become whoever you want to be. It has potential.

And The Good Place is my all time favorite TV show and it definitely has its appeal. Jeremy Bearimy timelines, you go when you’re ready, plenty to do and lots to learn, Janet… generally pretty solid.

Reincarnation isn’t for me. Mostly because the idea of sentient beings being accidentally squashed or eaten or chopped down is just too stressful.

Generally, ghosts seem like a viable option, (side note: in my 4th grade spelling bee I misspelled the word “ghost” and it haunts me to this day and it’s my blog I can make a stupid joke if I want to.) But the problem with them is that they’re not always able to interact and are tied to a particular place or have to solve some mystery.

From a visual perspective, I don’t think you can come up with anything more stunning than what Disney pulled off for us in Coco. The colors! The celebrations! The neon glowing Alebrijes! Yes, please.

But a once a year visit? That’s just crap.

I mean, that’s the problem with all of these, and I can’t for the LIFE of me figure out why – if we get to make up all sorts of ways that explain what happens to us when we’re dead – that the all involve being separated from the people here on earth. This, to me, is stupid.

Humans have had great ideas of where we go! Stars (Ray and Evangeline anyone?), Valhalla, the underworld, planets, generic paradise, The Summerland – they’re all super creative. I mean, sometimes it gets a little dark and tortury, but generally speaking, we’ve had some pretty solid ideas.

But there’s no “I’ll always be with you” option, and this irritates me.

And so, I think there’s a real case to be made for a reinvention.

So maybe we take The Good Place but we add in some “Dia De Muertos” flavor where they can come down and visit. Or! This isn’t exactly the afterlife, but maybe we take the “Inside Out” concept where your people are in there helping you make decisions, bringing up good memories, providing guidance. Add in a ghost element here or there, with some physical haunting or the occasional “sign” that they’re with us.

But like, let’s build some framework around it, right? Because I don’t like the idea that I’ll have to stick around here another 30, 40 years before I get to hang out with Preston after he “passes on” so who’s to say I can’t just decide that “passing on” is for suckers and he’s actually just following me around? Maybe not watching *eveything, but just generally hanging out. Ghosty, but not stuck in a place.

I know, I still have some things to work out. I mean, who decides who gets to hang around? And like, what if they get bored? Can they hop around and visit other people, or are they just stuck with you? Can they interact with other people, and does it get crowded? Does the living person have to grant consent to be followed around or are they all just being invaded by rando dead folk? Is it a privilege? Punishment?

Look, there are a lot of pieces that I still need to figure out, but what I’m saying is that I really don’t like the idea that – whenever the time comes – Preston will be in one place and I will be in another, so I’ve decided that he’s staying here somehow and I’ll work out the details later.