Summer, that is. It’s nearly August! How is that possible? In June, it felt like we might languish forever in summer camps and travel and humidity and yet somehow we’re here – screeching to a halt and a return to chemo.

We’ve had a rather extraordinary summer (and still some adventures to come) made possible by a whole slew of people. Preston had a good 5 weeks of a break from chemo – something we all needed desperately. It was good to get out of our every-two-week routine, our offices, and even our state for a while.

We kicked off Summer with some lovely River trips, made slightly more exciting by Conor’s first trip to the urgent care for stitches. He’s no worse for the wear and now sports a scar over his eye that is a pretty close match to Preston’s. We fished and crabbed and rested and read and played and laughed. Preston got some new tattoos. We snuggled with my new niece. It was divine.

Conor then got to spend a week with my parents at the River – complicated somewhat by his injury. They rolled with it, and one cool, sun-protecting eye patch later, he had some fantastic adventures including a boat trip to Oriental, NC. I’m glad we decided to stay the course and let him stay – he had a great time and so did we! We did a down and back to Chef and the Farmer in Kinston for Preston’s Birthday – quite the treat.

Last week, we were on an even more grand adventure – Salt Lake City, West Yellowstone, Montana, and Jackson, Wyoming. We went hiking, saw wild flowers, played at a ski resort and went to a zoo in Salt Lake and somehow managed to see all of the top attractions in Yellowstone and the Tetons. We even threw in a moose sighting (actually two) and caught a fleeting glimpse of a bear. It was wonderful to be with Jim, Rosa and Erin and get some needed time together.

Also, and this is important, they really aren’t kidding about the humidity out there. When you step into the shade, it’s like someone turned on the AC. It’s maybe 20 degrees cooler. You can feel it on your hand when you put it into a shadow. These are things us southerners can’t even fathom – I mean, the shade helps, but it’s nearly as hot – you’re just melting instead of burning.

Yellowstone was incredible. Have you been there? It’s like Earth’s circus show. Bubbling mud! Geysers! Strange rock formations! Humans being really stupid around wildlife! Giant lakes! Neon colored pools of hot, acidic water! (Ok, my analogy is weak – that’s a pretty freaky circus – but I’m going to stick with it.)

Author’s Note: (Things start to get a bit rambly after this, so if you were here for the update, best to head out here. Haha)

You’re still here!

Also, I was struck by just how self-centered people can be sometimes. And while our life is full of selfless and helpful people, we sure saw a lot of folks on vacation who were pretty darned wrapped up in their world – or at least that’s how they came off to me. They would cut in front of Conor to take a picture. They sat precariously on walls for the perfect selfie. They – and I’m not kidding here – took their kids up a hill to get about 15 feet away from an entire herd of bison. You know, those tame, docile animals who are not totally famous for stampeeding.

There was also SO MUCH LITTER. Everywhere. In geysers, on trails, in the lake – everywhere. Because (and this became something of an unofficial trip motto) – people are the worst.

It’s an existential crisis I’ve been having of late. We’ve been digging in to racial equity at work, so some of it comes from that, and some of it comes from reading I’ve been doing about native communities. Out West, that struck me deeply – lots of celebration around pioneers, and preserving the land, and “saving the bison,” and cowboys and I just wanted to scream into a gorge. (I’m not sure what I would have screamed, exactly – less likely to be something poetic than just a guttural UGGGGGG)

Plus, PLUS! all the stuff at the border and in politics in general. So much of the rhetoric is like jumping in front of Conor to take a picture or getting as close as possible to the Elk because someone thinks it’s cool – not because the Elk invited them (and then getting mad when it lunges), or leaving litter on the ground just because it’s a tiny bit easier than cleaning up your mess… it never stops with humans.

Are we broken? Why does it seem so hard for humans (writ large) to be better? To be more kind. To think beyond our generation or even next week. Politicians on both sides of the aisle fight for what can be accomplished during their term – 4, maybe 8 years down the road – but give very little thought to what we’re leaving to our children’s children’s children.

Admittedly, I live in a pretty small, privileged bubble. But something about having to look at the person I love most in the world suffer on the regular helps me to see the forest for the trees. To dwell in the things that “matter” much more than I did when “till death do us part” felt a hell of a lot further down the road.

And I still can’t get it right! I use WAY too many single-use plastic products because it’s a tiny bit easier. I don’t volunteer the way I should. I laugh at things I really shouldn’t, and I don’t speak up when people post things that aren’t true.

This is droning on now, isn’t it? It was all very poignant and thoughtful and tied up with a neat little bow in my brain when I sat down to write but now it just feels, I don’t know, kind of dark.

Of course there are lovely humans! So many! When I’m around all of my lovely friends and family, it gives me such hope!

So, in conclusion, it’s only strangers that are the worst. (Wait, that’s not right either…)

In conclusion, we can all be better. And Summer is great unless it sends you careening into a “WHY DO WE EVEN EXIST” kind of crisis and I swear I’m good y’all, so don’t worry.