This week we snuck away. Because we have gracious, supportive employers, we left the Outlook behind and spent the week at the River just playing. It was (mostly) magic. The extended family was there on the weekends, so we got in plenty of time with our aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, etc., and then had plenty of time just the three of us. It rained (a lot) but we still had time to swim, fish, kayak, jump in puddles, hurl ourselves down the giant slip ‘n slide and just generally have a good time. We watched movies and slept in (thanks, Mom, Dad and Mimi!) and P and I even had time for a nice dinner out at Spoon River. We took the ferry to Aurora to the fossil museum and dug for sharks teeth. We ate Kings Chicken on the waterfront in Washington. I did a little shopping in downtown Belhaven (my new skirt will debut on Wednesday). We traveled to Hyde County to go searching for bears (we found them. It was awesome.)

And there were times that I totally forgot what tomorrow will bring. Another round of chemo. 46 hours with the pump. The guest room.

And forgetting was great!

But then I would remember.

Night time is the hardest for me. Or when I’m alone. That was rare this week, and so that worked out well. At night I managed to keep the darker dwellings at bay with an audio book and some killer sleeping pills, but every so often I had a tough time and I think it probably showed.

This afternoon I thought I needed some “alone time” so I left P with his new TV and Xbox (the chemo fairy is generous indeed) and C with the grandparents and I went off to Crossroads. Craft stores (3!), DSW, Target, Coffee & Crepes – what’s not to love? I was doing pretty well until I thought it was a good idea to look at Fathers Day cards. (Seriously, y’all, what the heck was I thinking?) and I was really on the verge of losing it when my cousin Susan came up to me! She probably didn’t realize it, but she was just what I needed to snap me out of it.

If you’re reading this – thanks, Susan!

This all sucks a lot. It feels different than last time, though. It’s definitely less hectic – the first time around, there was dealing with the initial diagnosis, his former employer (good LORD I’m glad we don’t have to deal with those awful people again), urgent surgery, and just getting used to the whole idea.

This time, it still took us by surprise, but we know what we’re doing. P knows to get the deodorant that doesn’t smell too strong and to shave his chest near the port so the bandage stays on better. I know to stock up on craft supplies and move some clothes into the guest room. Conor knows that he’ll have more sleepovers at Granna and Grandaddy’s.

Somehow the cats know how to be more annoying.

I also know to take a sleeping pill and turn on my audio book which is what I’ve done, so I’ll sign off for now. Thanks for the notes and the cards – we’re glad to have you all in our corner.